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SO...have a lot that I want/need to write about, but I'm just not feelin' it tonight. SO it's gonna be semi-short. 2 things on my mind that I want to share tonight: 1. Had a wonderful weekend with some of my favorite people in the whole wide world (minus a few:)!!! I went to visit Mos, Krish, and Laura this weekend (and even got to have a surprise visit by Hennypenny). You ask what was so "wonderful" a/b the weekend?!? What were all the amazing things we did, places we went, etc...Would you believe me if I said nothing really. That's what made it so "wonderful." These are the type of friends that I could travel the world with and go and do (and often think a/b them wishing they were on every adventure with me) BUT more importantly these are the girls that I can just sit in the same room with and not utter a word (w/o it being the "awkward silence" that it is w/ most). We still have the best time (what a rare, sweet blessing)! They're my girls. LOVE them, and no matter how many precious new relationships/friends the Lord blesses me with NO ONE will EVER take their place (more like family)! As cheesy as this sounds...it's really the only way I can try to convey what I'm feeling by using words/idea... feels like "going home" when I'm with them! You know what I mean!?! What a sweet blessing!

So after having a "going home" type of weekend, I must say it's been tough coming back today! Despite my love for Atlanta, getting 3 great frames for a penny at Aaron Brothers Penny Sale, having an awesome meeting with my mission group for my Africa trip (which has NOT hit me yet...haven't even really told people b/c it's that surreal), having a good workout, and coming home to a great roommate (Leslie...not my sis...Scrog:), I've been a little down (combo. of things- lots to think and pray a/b...BIG life decisions (that I'm not sure if I'm ready to make), reminiscing (maybe too much- hate how much I think...too bad I'm not impetuous), and not to mention me feeling hurt b/c Jarrod didn't even acknowledge me at the gym tonight...(not even a hey- was like we don't know each other- after investing 2 years of my life- yeah...maybe I told him to not contact me...but that makes it even worse that he's not (you know the whole thing that women say one thing and mean another- it's true...most of the time, guys). He just let it go, let us go, let me go...seems so easy for him
:(effortlessly...which hurts me more. I wish he would fight for me). Ughh...talk about a reality check. Well, really didn't mean to be such a downer...guess you better "GET YOUR ARMOR...get your armor...GET YOUR ARMOR...get your armor...Why does LOVE have to be like a battlefield..." man, perfect transition, huh (that's for you, girls...next time...karaoke)! Ironically, that was going to be "the song" we were going to karaoke. We really were going out Saturday to perform that song live- ROCK-STYLE (would've been my 1st time ever karaoking), but because we are all so old now a days... that didn't happen. Let me tell you what did happen: we came home to try to wait till it got a bit later "to go out" (b/c you can't go too early), called a bunch of friends to get some more peeps to "go out" (boo on Brad H., Sarah, Clay, etc...for not encouraging this awesomeness)... Wahoo...You know the pre-party thang... let me tell you...it was a PAR-TAY...yeah... few mins. into it... the par-tay turns into us sitting down, laying down (watching "So You Think You Can Dance"), and yep...by 11pm. all dead to the world...we're lame/old...you can say it...with the exception of Ryan Burton. He left with his head hanging...apparently, he's a stud soloist and lead singer for Jordin Sparks "Battlefield." Sorry Burton!

2. BUT since ya'll do not get to see us sing- I have something better to share. A video that I found and LOVE (maybe I can relate, hah)...made me laugh...hope you will too!
Kate Miller-Heidke sings hilarious song about old flames on Facebook. Warning: Rated-R for language (wish it wasn't that bad w/ the "F" word) Still a-mazing! Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7MuwPlOiNQ

Magic-Bullet

I want to share my latest obsession with ya'll! So I live with 2 amazing girls- Leslie and Melody. Obviously being roommates we share a lot...from our hearts to bathrooms...to you guessed it...kitchen supplies! Let’s just be honest, I’m not the most domesticated woman, but if I’m going to use/want a certain appliance it’s going to prob. be something that most people would hold-off on (b/c it wouldn’t be the most practical). Well, I beg to differ- I think a blender is perfectly practical! I can think of plenty of things to use a blender for- a blender is way more practical to me then something like an everyday toaster. BUT to my disappointment neither of my roommates thought so (I couldn’t find one anywhere)...neither owned a blender (guess it wasn’t on the top of their list). After being somewhat let down that my roomies (who I thought might see eye to eye w/ me on this unspoken idealogy...b/c they’re not only practical but fun) seemed to agree with mainstream America on practicality...boo. So a few months ago, I was telling Mel how I felt like we needed a blender, and to my surprise she said, "no" because we already have something better...“What”?!?...the Magic-Bullet (btw she totally exceeded my expectations...this made her so much cooler in my book). Of course if your like me, your thinking right now...what is a Magic-Bullet? Well, I’m about to tell you...so get excited!

Product Promo: Magic-Bullet
I'm totally stealing this idea from Erin (so props to her). I know you've seen the goofy commercials or maybe you’ve heard about the Magic-Bullet from their cheesy website: The Magic Bullet The Magic Bullet is totally better than a bulky blender (easier to use, clean, and store)! It can be used as a food processor or it can make shakes and my favorite: smoothies (perfect for summertime)!!! The Magic Bullet is not only quick (saving you time) and easy, but it is also versatile. This really is something that you will want to use almost every single day (sometimes even several times a day). This product is AMAZING, and it's actually pretty fun too! I’ve heard there about $100.00, but I just did a google search for this product and this looks like a better deal (though honestly it’s worth $100.00...I would pay it...that’s how much I love this thing- it's well-worth the money), but why not save $ if you can)! SO...incase you too want this amazing product...which trust me...you do(promise you won't regret it- I mean come on...it even has an awesome name)! Here ya go: The Magic Bullet
I mean...just in the past 24hrs. I've already used this amazing little product twice! Last night I made some yummy margaritas for a few of my friends, and this morning I made a protein shake for me (trying to be bit healthier:) Talk a/b being practical (side note: I still haven't used the toaster)!!! So what are you waiting for?!? CALL NOW and buy your own Magic-Bullet today...call 1-800-3Bu-llet. Call TODAY! hahahh...no seriously though, try and tell me how you like it!

From The Inside Out

Music speaks to my soul! I can already warn you that there will be times when I just post lyrics. Occasionally, merely for the words and other times/most of the time for the song itself. Either way I'll post songs/lyrics that speak to me in some way (whether that be serious or just for fun)...some of which I may comment/explain why it means something to me and others that I may let you be curious about or just enjoy- prob. go with this method the most:) I find music can express emotions, thoughts, feelings, etc...that fails when human language attempts to relate the ineffable in life. So listen:)

Hillsong United lyrics - From The Inside Out

album: United We Stand (2006)

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
my heart and my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Chorus 2x
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out

Finalllllly Up and Running Again

So...after going 3 months w/o cable and internet we're finally up and running again. I'm super pumped b/c I can finally get some personal business taken care of (okay really...maybe business is the wrong word to use...play is more like it...mostly playing...work on stuff that I can't do at work...upload pics., facebook, research, blog, etc:) Let me just tell you, my roommates and I have been jumping thru hoops the past 3mos. trying to get Charter to fix our phone, cable, internet...basically our lifeline to the outside world. We've all spoken to multiple people, Charter came out more than 3 times...not to mention the times they were suppose to come and never showed...leaving me waiting. I know your thinking...why didn't you take care of it 3 mos. ago...b/c it's hard w/ so many people involved and repeats, etc...so I was trying to be patient and understanding...which I feel like I really was considerate and very patient prob. too much so. BUT yesterday I just snapped...it had become re-dunk-culous. Don't want to go into all this too much b/c it literally could be a post worth on it's own...you have no clue...that bad...BUT I finally took charge, got over being polite and nice, and called this past Sat. and spoke with the higher ups. Said a bunch but the basics were such, "I don't care what you have to do, but you will come out and fix our problem today." I was tough. No worries, didn't want to hurt my witness to whoever I was talking to/felt sorry for the poor soul that had to take that call BUT I made sure to express my many thoughts/feelings and stand up for us...pretty sure this won't happen again. I really think a few of the people thought 3 sweet, young girls... we can take advantage of...think again!!! Wahoo... woman hear me roar, hahah, totally j/k, but seriously pretty sure they won't mess w/ us again! Ahhh...told you I could just get going on this- k, I'm stopping...obviously Charter has really gotten to me.

Change of subject/moving on: Shockingly, I'm normally all a/b disconnecting-just live life! It's vital to disconnect...we weren't meant to be always hooked up to the world. Though I am a big advocate for communicating and utilizing these technology tools. It's important to be relational and to be connected with people, but nothing takes the place of face time! Phone calls, texting, emails, blogs, g-chat, twitting, etc...whatever it was meant to enhance our communication skills which it has, but it's also taken away from us too! I think it's important and healthy and also very unlikely in the world we live in today: to unplug. You have to really make sure you take time just to BE STILL (sometimes those are the moments we grow the most in...when we stop keeping up and running. With just touching the surface of that a little bit...in a nutshell...it's good to have a balance. All that being said I was mainly frustrated with our internet not working for the mere fact that I finally wanted to blog and couldn't...frustrating! Isn't it funny? The things we miss the most are many times the things we expect to miss the least (isn't it true...esp. in relationships)? So I'm just excited to blog. I have a lot racing around in my mind, and I'm looking forward to getting some of it out on a page. Sometimes it will be funny, serious, random, heartfelt, my deepest thoughts, things I've learned, dreams, heartaches, etc...so just get ready. This is a journey we're about to embark!

Please be in prayer for me too- I've experienced a lot of hurt in my 25 yrs. of living which sometimes can make me a little reserved & to myself (fearful...the enemy tries to use that to tie me up). I hesitate sharing and can put up walls only letting a select few know me, and they still don't know all of me b/c i don't even:) Either way normally they have to pass a few "tests" some of which I'm aware and some of which I am still unaware. Sounds horrible doesn't it...I test people...just fear:( I'm only beginning to see these tests, etc. the more I grow and get to know who I am). The rest see only what I show- certain little parts of me. Sadly, I've really just noticed this a/b myself recently...really stood out vividly in one relationship particularly...with someone that I knew, loved, and invested in so much for the past 2 years. Someone who I hoped knew and loved me (should've at least known me)...come to find out they didn't know me at all (after spending much quality time together)...breaks my heart he didn't even begin to scratch the surface...and I guess didn't want to...though prob. would say he knows me well...I didn't realize the full extent of this reality till a recent conversation (hate feeling so misrepresented/misunderstood)...not trying to go deep in that it could be a novel, but all of that said...I've learned a little more a/b myself. I don't really let people in till they prove themselves (which is good and bad)! In this case he didn't scale the walls of my heart to see what was inside (just stood down below thinking he could see every block and crack and crevasse and really assess if it was worth the climb (if I was worth it)...making the wrong judgement call never to try and climb...little did he know the view and life from the top was so much better then the view from where he stood). I guess some of that is my fault too for putting up too many walls/tests, but i want someone who is going to fight for my heart and me...don't want it to be easy b/c I'm not easy... I want someone I can trust...someone who's not just going to bail...someone who will stick it out for the bad and really take in and love the good and amazing times! Hahhh...that should be it's own post...I could type alot. All that said...I have many layers...some things will surprise you.

The thought of being so real and vulnerable anywhere even on a blog scares me a bit, but I feel like the Lord wants to use me in this way too. I know the Lord has and will use this to glorify Him- I just have to be transparent and real. Pray for the Lord's protection b/c the enemy really grades on my mind and many times uses fear with me (I'm hoping to not think a/b people reading or not and just be me...real and honest...though sometimes that vulnerability scares me). This is just another tool that can help me (and others) grow to the woman (people) the Lord has called me (us) to be by becoming more balanced spiritually, emotionally, physically, intellectually. Lord, please take any fears of being vulnerable and getting hurt again away (any hurt is worth taking for Your Kingdom- if it will minister and love people and show them You). Help me to be transparent and let my words minister by letting someone know that someone else has been there too (relate...destroying the enemy's plan for us to feel isolated and alone), uplift spirits by laughing, bring joy by reading Your word or praising You, or just using whatever however You see fit. I am Your vessel! Amen. This really is a journey-glad your joining me:)